Editing Super Smash Bros. Brawl
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= | =Super Smash Bros. Brawl= | ||
[[File: | [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/File:Alternate_Brawl_1.jpg]The official box art, Tinkle ruins everything. Rated T for Tinkle.[http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/File:Bouncywikilogo8.gif]For those ''without'' comedic tastes, the [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Furries so-called experts] at [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Wikipedia Wikipedia] have an article about '''''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Smash_Bros._Brawl Super Smash Bros. Brawl]'''''.'''Super Smash Bros. Brawl''' is a relatively decent video game for the [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Nintendo_Wii Nintendo Wii]. It is the successor to the faster-paced, and therefore far superior game, Super Smash Bros. Melee. Well known [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/G G], [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Carl_%22CJ%22_Johnson&action=edit&redlink=1 Carl "CJ" Johnson], a professional at ''Melee'' was arrested for beating a [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Police_officer police officer] to [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Death death] with a pool cue when he became aware of ''Brawl'''s '''slower-paced button control response''' than ''Melee''. | ||
[http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/File:Nintendo_staff.gif]The Nintendo staff celebrate their new found fortune.Although the public was disappointed in ''Brawl'''s exclusion of [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Dr._Mario&action=edit&redlink=1 Dr. Mario](who, sadly took an overdose of his own pills and died shortly before "brawl"'s release), [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Mewtwo Mewtwo], [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Pichu Pichu], Roy, and Young [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Link Link], [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Nintendo Nintendo] [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/God God], [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Shigeru_Miyamoto Shigeru Miyamoto] proceeded with his plans to exclude them. Several statements were released by Miyamoto detailing the reasons these characters did not make an appearance in ''Brawl'', however everybody was too high to pay attention. Miyamoto then spontaneously drove around with several Nintendo employees celebrating for apparently no reason, and several hundred civilians killed themselves due to the extremely long delays in Brawl's release. | |||
==[http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Super_Smash_Bros._Brawl&action=edit§ion=1 edit] Gameplay== | |||
The gameplay in ''Brawl'' in quite versatile as far as methods of control go. Players will find it possible to plug in the Nintendo [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Gamecube&action=edit&redlink=1 Gamecube] Controller to play in the same fashion one would play ''Melee''. Other devices are also known to work. Forks, screwdrivers, spoons, metal and glass pipes, penises, [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Dance_Dance_Revolution Dance Dance Revolution] pads, thermostat switches, and the [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Wii Wii] Nun chuck are confirmed methods of playing ''Brawl''. | |||
As of [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/May_12 May 12], [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/2008 2008], scientists have begun to conduct experiments regarding methods of playing ''Brawl''. Oh, those scientists. They're [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Funny funny]. | |||
The gameplay in ''Brawl'' has changed slightly from ''Melee'' to gameplay that is more suitable to accomodate players that insist on neatly placing the blame of their seemingly endless tide of losses upon their chosen character's inadequacy. Losing a match to a more skilled player, often places the elephant that is known a self-esteem problem onto the losing player. This is more frequent in cases where the losing player dedicates a large portion of their life to the game. The realization that somebody could "[http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Pwn pwn]" them so often and with such ease, often shocks their entire self-outlook thus causing them to mentally reflect on their inadequacy as a player. In most cases the player cannot handle this and is driven to choose from three courses of action to combat this issue: | |||
'''Option 1:''' ''One can continue to bitch about one's character's unfair inefficiency.'' | |||
'''Option 2:''' ''One can spend several nights in succession, writing letters of dissatisfation to Nintendo, complaining about how one's losses are so numerous that it is unfair and that it should be changed in the sequel to Brawl.'' | |||
'''Option 3 (Most Frequent):''' ''One can resort to killing oneself to end the insanity-inducing possibility that they just suck plain donkey ass.'' | |||
''Option 3'' was the most frequently chosen course of action, which resulted in a mass decline in the world population. Unfortunately. Nintendo had to prove to the public that it was hearing its consumers' pleas. Although ''Option 2'' was the least frequent of the three, Nintendo chose to take action and address this issue by changing several characters' stats. This resulted in more "Noob-Friendly" gameplay in ''Brawl'' than in ''Melee''. Several characters that were portrayed in ''Melee'' as strong-willed, combat-enduring adversaries, have since been reduced to snivelling, crack-addicted, homeless people singing for quarters in [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Los_Angeles Los Angeles] in ''Brawl''. | |||
==[http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Super_Smash_Bros._Brawl&action=edit§ion=2 edit] Interview With Shigeru Miyamoto== | |||
[http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/File:Shigger.jpg]Mr. Miyamoto denies the use of drugs.On [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=April_20&action=edit&redlink=1 April 20], [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/2007 2007], several months before the much anticipated release of Super Smash Bros. Brawl in [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Canada Canada] on [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/March_9 March 9], [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/2008 2008], the "Big Cheese" of Nintendo, [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Shigeru_Miyamoto Shigeru Miyamoto], was interviewed by Mike The TV from Reboot. This interview saw a different side of Miyamoto's personality. He seemed to be preoccupied by something else. Cameraman McNorton Avalon stated, "Mr. Miyamoto's eyes appeared to be quite bloodshot. He seemed content, yet agitated, as though he wished he were doing something more [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Drugs fun]." This interview answered questions that many of the public sought answers to. The interview led to this statement being said by Mike The TV: | |||
''"A [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Friend friend] of mine told me that the [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Trademark trademark] green tunic that [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Link Link] is often seen wearing contains substantial amounts of [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/THC THC] within its green fibers, Also my dick is big."'' | |||
Miyamoto seemed dazzled by this apparent animated [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Television television] set that possessed the ability to communicate with [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Human_beings human beings]. It was reported that he dodged questions directly asked of him by cleverly stating that he doesn't believe in speaking to beings that only reach his knees. Upon hearing of this, [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Jedi Jedi] Grand Master [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Yoda&action=edit&redlink=1 Yoda], sitting on his chair in his hut, threw his Coffee Crisp Bar and his pipe in two separate directions. | |||
==[http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Super_Smash_Bros._Brawl&action=edit§ion=3 edit] FBI Investigations== | |||
Ten months after the interview, on [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/February_20 February 20], [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/2008 2008], the [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/FBI FBI] concluded a series of investigations into the production of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, following an incident including an [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Elephant elephant] and some strange green orbs. These investigations brought to light several important factors in the production of Super Smash Bros. Brawl: | |||
*''[http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Leeroy_Jenkins Leeroy Jenkins]'' was to make an appearance from ''[http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/World_of_Warcraft World of Warcraft]'' as an assist trophy in ''Brawl''. However, due to the vast oceans of ''homosexuality'' flowing abundantly from anything ''[http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/World_of_Warcraft World of Warcraft]-related'', [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Nintendo Nintendo] had second thoughts. | |||
=== | *[http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Zelda Princess Zelda] was known to be able to cure [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Cancer cancer] in ''Melee'', but [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Nintendo Nintendo] took that ability out in ''Brawl'', stating, "It was relatively expensive." | ||
[ | *After being unemployed since [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Kid_Icarus Kid Icarus] for well over 156 years, Nintendo decided to include Pit in ''Brawl''. Known to have started a drug smuggling ring in Angel Land, he has also been charged with numerous accounts of sexual assault against Queen Palutena. It is said that this is due to the large numbers of drugs he used in the [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Kid_Icarus Kid Icarus] series, known on the street as ''hammers''. | ||
*By the time ''Brawl'' was released Marth had spent 90% of his profits from ''Melee'' on [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Women women], [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Alcohol alcohol] and [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Drugs drugs]; the rest of the 10% he wasted. | |||
*When asked if he was comfortable working with the Japanese Roy & Marth on ''Melee'', [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Ganondorf Ganondorf] was heard telling game executives, ''"I am free of all prejudices. I HATE EVERYBODY EQUALLY!!!"'' | |||
*Before production Captain Falcon was sent to rehab to kill his speed addiction, this explains his much more slow paced movement in ''Brawl''. | |||
: | *The bent [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Spoon&action=edit&redlink=1 spoon] featured in the [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/1999 1999] Film, [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=The_Matrix&action=edit&redlink=1 The Matrix] was originally intended to be used as an item in ''Brawl''. However, producers were unaware that this spoon was not a stainless steel spoon and it succumbed to rust before production of the game began. Miyamoto proposed that they use the rusted spoon nonetheless and this idea was agreed upon by a majority of the [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Nintendo Nintendo] employees. However, the whereabouts of the rusted bent spoon became unclear following a series of disturbing visits by a strange green man with salad-like fingers to the Nintendo of America Headquarters. | ||
[http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/File:Green_Orb.jpg]Depicted here is an example of one of the mystic items known as ''[http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/THC THC] Orbs'' that [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Link Link] has been known to use.*Dr. Mario was recently foiled in an assasination attempt on Mario, which resulted in the death of three civilians. Dr. Mario remains in an undisclosed jail. Recently it was reported that he had been admitting Princess Daisy to his office and was raping her with vibrating pill capsules. He was promptly slapped by Nurse Peach. Later Peach's fingerprints were found in the door where Dr. Mario kept the pill capsules. Several were missing. All Dr. Mario had to say was " Mama Mia! Spaghetti, lasagna, penne alfredo!" | |||
: | *Snake's original taunt involved smoking a cigarette, which was fine and all, until Nintendo discovered several stashes of marijuana and trace amounts of the same drug in his ''cigarettes' and his ''brownies''. Snake was allowed to stay at Nintendo, but is in rehab and recovering.'' | ||
*Investigations conducted by the [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/FBI FBI] reveal that [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Super_Smash_Bros. Super Smash Bros.] [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/1999 1999] [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Veteran Veteran], [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Link Link], has been administering a green, orb-like substance before every one of his battles since his first appearance in ''Melee'' in [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/2001 2001]. Studies have proven that these orbs contain mass amounts of condensed [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/THC THC]. Link's use of these orbs has continued well into the ''Brawl-era'' in [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/2008 2008] as well. Spectators present at Link's battles have noticed that Link's eyes become a shade of anywhere between pink and red immediately after administering this green substance. It has, however, been proven that while under the influence of this substace, [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Link Link] duels with ''much more speed'' and ''unpredictablility'' than he would had he ''not'' administered it. Marth is a known user of [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/THC THC]-Orbs as well. | |||
*A little known fact is that [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Mr._Game_and_Watch&action=edit&redlink=1 Mr. Game and Watch] actually does talk, however all he ever says is swear words. Since [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Nintendo Nintendo] does have a policy forbidding swearing in their games, they censored every swear word he says with various beeps. | |||
*After the game, every single character gained more than 50 pounds due to the incredibly high storage of donuts. Mario came in first place in the pound rally, being 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (and since we don't have any more space, let's just say he's got a lot of zeroes) pounds. | |||
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